The Challenge of Prayer

Over the past few weeks we've been talking a lot about prayer at church and during the Adult Sunday School. It's been interesting to hear the very theological points of understanding on prayer, the practice of prayer, and discussing and wrestling with our own reasons for not praying.

I've always prayed. I've at time wrestled with if God is all-knowing and if He already has this planned and if God is outside our understanding of time- why do I need to pray? What difference can it make? I've come to believe that prayer is more for me and my Spirit than for God. But then I'm stuck with passages like in Exodus when God is ready to wipe out the Isralites after they've been worshiping the golden calf and Moses begs God to have mercy- and He does. Does this mean that the character of God has changed or that God made a mistake? I question how I feel about the idea that my requests, my interactions with God can affect Him. He is God for crying out loud!

We've also some friends whom I admire a great deal and I look at their lives and the way in which they live and I see how big a part prayer plays in all that they do. The thing I love about them is that they just ask for things in boldness with no reservation. They really feel that they are to move and they don't have the resources but they just pray that God would work it out and it is. It's like this for them ALL THE TIME. That type of boldness is amazing. I think I am reserved because somehow I haven't earned whatever it is that I am desiring or I don't want to set myself up for a major disappointment.

In any event, I've really been challenged to prayer bolder and more- not just for my physical needs but especially for the spiritual needs I have and that I see in my kids. This whole pregnancy thing has been showing me that God will answer my prayers. As I've been praying for contentment and PEACE the past two weeks; everyday I have a deeper sense that all will be okay. It might get a bit crazy, but it will be taken care of and not to despair or be discouraged.

Prayer is one of the most intimate and vulnerable spiritual practices that I think I engage in. It scares me a bit, but the closeness and peace that I feel during and after is something that I want more of. Now, if I could just find the time.....